Case #3: You don’t need fixing. You just need an alignment.

When I first took Gallup’s StrengthsFinder back in 1999, I learned that one of my top five talent themes was Achiever. One of the blind spots for someone like me with Achiever in the top five means I can be a bulldozer. When I really get a head of steam, my momentum can roll over people. This was brought to my attention by my strengths coach from Gallup. 

When she said this to me, I had a huge awakening. I could see, in the past, why a few people quit their jobs while reporting to me. I could even see how this facet of me contributed to the end of my first marriage. My response, (a habitual response I learned as a kid from my parents) was, “I need to fix this. I need to change who I am.”

My coach said, “You can’t change who you are. Being an achiever is something with which you were born. You do this naturally. Tell me, what kind of leader do you want to be?”

I said, “I want to be a leader who helps increase business results by creating an environment in which people can do their best work every day. I want people to trust me, feel safe around me, and feel like they can be themselves. I want to be a part of their story as they work to achieve their own career aspirations and develop their own leadership and teamwork skills.”

She responded, “Part of becoming an effective leader is knowing who you are and leveraging your internal strengths in a way that aligns with the kind of person you want to be. You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. You just need an alignment. What if you redefined achiever? What if, instead of focusing purely on getting results, getting that bonus, and earning that next promotion, you also focused on how you are achieving success within your relationships?”

My coach spoke like a mechanic. I didn’t need fixing. I just needed an alignment. The awakening changed the way I manage people and changed the way I work on myself.

(You can learn more about StrengthsFinder in books like First, Break All The Rules, Now Discover Your Strengths, StrengthsFinder 2.0, and Strengths-Based Leadership.) 

Reflection and Action

Reflection questions:

1. What did you learn from this story?
2. What is the benefit of focusing on leveraging the strengths of who you are versus feeling like you need to fix something about yourself?
3. Why do you think life became simpler for me after I aligned my internal strengths with the kind of person I wanted to be and the legacy I wanted to leave?

Try this:  Write down the kind of person you want to be. Then write down what legacy you want to leave after you die. Now hold up the mirror and consider how well your actions align with your aspirations. Where there are gaps, instead of feeling like you have to fix something, determine how you can leverage your strengths. 

Go deeper: If you want to go deeper, take StrengthsFinder and explore your strengths and blind spots.